We sit staring at one another across time it seems. The riot of colors in this room of last resort do threaten to blind me, or at least interrupt our final moments together.
I don't know why that they would have a room like this for people who are dieing. All I do know is that this is what you wanted. Perhaps to make me uncomfortable in these last hours. More likely, you want to impress on me, once more, that we affect each other - you with the request and me with the lack of a preference.
Looking into your eyes now and understanding things at least a little better. I see the mad colors from this room start to fade away. You are the only thing that matters now.
I begin to think of how our lives were, how curiously balanced that they were. Even down to our coincidental, parallel cancers that are ending our lives so closely together.
Between work and all the other static in our lives, I realize that I hardly knew you. How much remains unknown and hidden. With no time to ask, I do ask myself.
I also thought, in my most secret of places, that I could never bear to see you die. I would wish to be with you for just a short time before you pass. Now, at this point I know that it doesn't matter. I am with you now, at the most important time, no phone calls to take me away. No emergencies at work to divide my attention. Only me and you.
Waiting
I'm not afraid now, the only pale regret is the inability to be close to you.
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