What I don't tell Lisa is the amazing conflict of emotions that this discussion creates.

How can I tell her the pressure to pretend that everything is okay and we are getting along well when in fact I have to force my self to smile because I know for a fact that if I were to let my real feelings to the surface for a second they would overwhelm me. I would drown there in that very real pain. Hurt? How can I hurt anymore?

Everything in sight would be a candidate for loss. Each piece of the puzzle a weird reflection on our life together.

I know in the end - trashing it all.